Soft life
In 2023
we are making room for soft life
Last week I joined a panel talk in Brooklyn. Imagine a living room atmosphere filled with BIPOC women who have never interfered with each other before sitting side by side on sofas and the carpet just to listen to each other and have a conversation about what soft life means to them.
This is NY: It is loud, bold, unapologetic, and the city of hustlers. You instantly pick up the pace of the city the minute you leave your house. But 6:30 pm this time felt different. I was not drained, my mind was sharp and I left the event at 9:00 pm fully at ease, reminiscing about the energy and softness that space left me with. This was last week... until today I find myself dreaming on the subway about soft life and what it might mean to all of us.
So what is soft life?
A soft life comes in various forms. The outside world, our circumstances, and our job often expect us to perform and be reliable. Striving for perfection and always working twice as hard is something a lot of first-generation immigrant children like me have heard throughout their childhood.
Do you make time for yourself or do your needs and emotions fall short?
When was the last time you picked up a hobby which you did not monetize? Something you truly enjoy and might be good at without deciding to turn into your hustle. When your hobby becomes your job you have to deliver!
When was the last time you took a vacation without sharing it on socials?
Most of the time I find myself showing up for everybody else, obviously the people I love but also the people I want to be respected and accepted by. Then I get to where I realize that I need to recharge my batteries and start saying no in order to commit to the hobbies or routines that balance me out. That, in my opinion, is a fundament to again be the best version for everyone else.
Living a soft life can be your night beauty routine, cooking, painting, or daily meditation. Furthermore, it can also mean that you must learn to say no and redefine your boundaries to say yes to yourself.
Sometimes checking in briefly whether committing to something means you are actively saying no to yourself helps in the process of decision-making.
“Living a soft life can be your night beauty routine, cooking, painting, or daily meditation. ”
Women, especially black women, have always been portrayed as strong, tough, and resistant. I do not see any room for emotions. This is why we all have to allow soft life to enter our space and make it a regular thing! I am sure everyone carries it deep inside but it is time to unleash it, be unapologetic about self-care, and embrace it. Maybe start with marking that activity just like all the other important events in your calendar.
Ultimately, creating a soft life is work too!
Xx Mimi
